Being cooped up with our nearest and dearest for so long leads inevitably to tensions and differences in the ways we usually communicate.  It’s not just our partners, some of us are sharing lock-down with lots of folk and some of us are alone, communicating (well or not so well) with the outside world by webcam, phone or shouting over the garden fence.

I’m reminded that Gary Chapman, in his book, The Five Languages of Love, identified that people have different preferences in the way in which we feel loved by others.

For example, for one person receiving a beautiful bouquet of flowers might be the ultimate love offering, for another, they may not feel truly loved if they are only able to get snippets of time with their partner and they feel most loved when maximum time is spent together.

The 5 main areas are:  

  1. Loving Words,
  2. Thoughtful Actions,
  3. Quality Time,
  4. Thoughtful presents,
  5. Physical affection


It shouldn’t be any surprise to us that when we want to show our nearest people some love that we often resort to using the love language that we prefer to receive love in, when actually they may really want something quite different.

Either way, to totally misquote Dumbledore, help is always at hand, even in the darkest times, if you ask for it. I know I’m biased, but on-line counseling can really help get your thoughts sorted out and more able to ask folk for what you want.  There are a number of online quizzes to work out your preference – maybe share them with your lock-down nearest and start a conversation?