Sometimes, these days, it’s difficult enough for me to concentrate on a whole chapter of Harry Potter, let alone focus on planning my medium to long-term future. I’m thinking about when this Corona Virus lockdown craziness is all over and I’m having mixed feelings.
I have been doing a lot of sitting, thinking, feeling and being. One of the feelings that popped up yesterday (to my surprise) was DREAD about this lock-down ending. Weird eh?
On reflection, I’ve become comfortable with how my days are predictable and long and I can take my time and allow myself to get distracted. The really sunny weather helped too. I’d sort of thought of the endless sunny days as like the endless summer holidays at school. But of course, just like it’s raining today, those holidays ended.
Part of me is maybe anticipating the wasted opportunities of all the productive stuff I thought I’d do and didn’t get around to doing – coming out of lockdown and not having learned a new language or the saxaphone; not even finishing a book!
The (emotionally mature) answer to all of this is probably just to sit with it, embrace the feelings and allow them to fill me up and wash away like waves.
I’m here to help you if you need it, but until then, I’ll schedule my organised, efficient self to kick in at a later date.